thankful part 1

It was almost exactly one year ago, almost to the minute (that I am writing at this moment, I may not finish and post this for days), that my husband was arrested and taken to jail for the first time.  Here we are again, in a seemingly similar situation, but I actually cannot think of one thing that is the same.  The only similarity shared by the day before Thanksgiving 2011 and the day before Thanksgiving 2012 is that Chris will be sleeping in the same building tonight.  Everything else has changed.  And I could not be more thankful for those changes.

When I talked to Chris tonight on the phone, he reminded me of the advice we had been given by a professional counselor that it takes the average couple about a year to work through the issues him and I have had to work through in our marriage and to feel stable again.  And tonight, during our phone call that was potentially being recorded by the jail as he was using his calling card and I was hiding out in his old bedroom at his parents house to find some privacy for our "10 minute phone date," we celebrated.  We celebrated what God had done with ONE YEAR.  One year.  It has been one year.  And we celebrate the good.  We desperately look for all of the good that has come out of this past year, even though the pain is not over yet.  And there is so much good.  We look back over the last year and recount the deeds of the Lord.  We look for and count His blessings.  We look for His hand and see that it has been on us every step of every day for the past 365 days.  There is so much to be thankful for.

There is power in naming things.  And there are power in our words.  Proverbs 18:21 says, "The power of life and death is in the tongue."  What comes out of my mouth has power.  And we are both intentional about speaking life over each other and our marriage in the conversations we are able to have during this time.  And when I wake up Thanksgiving morning I have a choice to make.  Will I wallow in self-pity, missing my husband, moping around as I spend time with families that get to be together and celebrate this holiday while my family is sitting in a jail cell?  Will I feel sorry for myself?  Or will I shift my perspective, change my focus, and search for all the good?  Will I name the good things that God has done?  It is my choice.

Life or death.

Every day.

And tomorrow, on Thansgiving day, I am determined to choose life. I am determined to choose thankfulness.  Thankfulness is a discipline.  It requires intention and purposing to look for the good and open my mouth and speak out thanks.  It is a command.  And it produces eternal fruit.

Psalm 30:11-12 You have turned my mourning into dancing.  You have turned my sorrow into joy.  That I might sing praises to you and not be silent.  O Lord my God, I will give thanks to you forever.
Colossians 3:15b Be thankful.
1 Thessalonians 5:18 In everything give thanks, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.
Colossians 4:2 Devote yourselves to prayer, keeping alert in it with an attitude of thanksgiving.

I am thankful.  When we moved into our new home we put up a huge piece of paper on the wall and simply started writing down some of the things we are thankful for as a means of naming the gifts in our lives and a HUGE reminder to be thankful.  Here is the random list we have compiled so far (it is more fun when you can see each of our handwriting, but you might be able to guess which of us wrote some of these?)
a healthy, pain-free body
warm fall clothes
Mom and Dad
corporate worship
Justie's cookies
a home
a grill
Vespers
Christopher Calvin Vavra
Hosting
Anna and Dan
Justie Vavra
someone to come home to
Helen's visits to say goodnight
new beginnings and second chances
Joel, Tabi, Helen, and Jack
laughter
band-aids
freedom
nights at home together
Sundays
bonfires
Justie's cooking
a lock on our door
safety
right thinking as a weapon of warfare
Helen hugs
family
leftovers
friends
job at TIES
Rob
growth
our new vehicle
CD player in our new vehicle
music
the Word

these are the most recent gifts we have not written on that poster yet that are bubbling out of my heart:
Chris' opportunity to work during this time
visiting hours at the jail, a chance to see his face
phones!  I love to hear his voice
the new friends God has brought into our lives during the past year
our very own home
our neighbors who live above us and have become family during these past months
health: vision, hearing, legs to walk, strength to work
family and the ways they have taken care of us
food on the table (and food on the table upstairs which I have been eating often lately)
breath in our lungs
the new and fresh precious love of each other
the many miracles we have seen over the past year
the healing work of Christ is our lives
the blood of Jesus Christ

What about your story?
What are you thankful for?  Is there anything in your life you are having to be thankful IN even though you may not be thankful FOR this particular situation?
Is there a way you can remind yourself to practice this discipline?
A great starting question for me as I reflect on what I am thankful for is to meditate on this:
Where would I be without Jesus Christ?